Last week I was researching CMV online again, looking for cases similar to Evie's, trying to find an end to the story. I came across a medical description of a baby born at 32 weeks with acute infection similar to Evie's. The baby died soon after birth. I saw a link to a picture. . . and I clicked it. There was the photo of this dead baby with a black strip over her eyes. It was a haunting image.
That night I had a dream that I was pregnant with three babies. One was Sage, the baby I lost in a miscarriage. One baby was Evie, sick with CMV. The third baby was the baby from the website, alive but very sick inside my tummy. I went into labor and felt excruciating pain with each contraction. I suddenly realized that the only way to keep all three alive was to deliver the third baby but keep Sage and Evie inside. . . . I pushed and screamed and pushed and screamed and delivered the third baby. As soon as she was born, I woke up.
I lay in bed covered in sweat and shaking. My face and pillow were soaked with tears. It was a scary, bad dream, but you know what? It is reality too.
Wishing you peaceful sleep tonight. My thoughts are with you always. Bekah
ReplyDeleteDearest Vera,
ReplyDeleteAll of my thoughts and wishes are for you and your little one. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I have thought this many times since we first met--I feel very lucky to know you. You are a bright light in an often dark and cynical world.
--Diana
Bless your beautiful heart, friend.
ReplyDeleteI wish you sweet dreams tonight.