Saturday, July 13, 2013

Dichotomy

Yesterday I was sitting in a cafe watching a mommy cradle her tiny baby.  She was smiling and holding him close, rocking him gently.  I felt my usual sadness and longing.  I could not look away.

Then I heard a loud sound, a guttural cry.  I looked to the very next table and saw two parents with their older child.  She had a helmet on, and she was nonverbal- crying out and banging her hand on the table. She rocked from side to side and her mommy was rubbing her back.  It's hard to explain the way I felt after noticing this other child.  Was it relief that I am not faced with that challenge? Yikes.  Then it was guilt.  As I sat and reflected, I became interested that I was faced with those two pictures of life back to back.  My grief moved and shifted inside me a little bit.

Then Valerie broke my meditation.  "I'm all done with my chocolate milk!"
"Ok pumpkin," I said, returning to the life at hand.  We stood up and left the cafe.

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