New Normal

Evie with her beautiful eyes open- She followed Kabir's  hand this morning as he passed it near her face!

Here are a few things that I never knew would become normal. . . 

1. I feel deeply connected to people I barely know at all.
I get on the elevator and see a parent I recognize from the NICU.  No words are exchanged, but we exchange looks of compassion and knowing.  We silently wish each others' babies well.

2. I am tired.  Really tired.
No, I don't have a baby at home keeping me up at night, but instead I have this weight on my chest of worries, and that can be tiring too!  Sometimes I'll go to the store and it will take a whole hour to buy three things.  Sometimes I only vacuum five stairs before I feel like lying down.  Exhaustion is normal for me these days.

3.  I accept (lots of ) help.

We have accepted rides,  dinner,  gift cards, childcare for Val, help with house chores, money, help talking to doctors, shoulders to cry on, and much, much more.  At first it was hard to depend so heavily on others, but now we are just very very grateful for all that support!  Much of the help we get is from people we barely know but who care about us anyway. Thanks, all you helpers out there.

4. I rely on nurses for almost everything.

On Sunday Evie had her first real bath.  I was sooo grateful for the nurse who held her tubes and told me exactly what to do and how to do it.  (I wish I had a picture to show you- Evie's eyes were giant saucers of shock when we set her in that little pink tub. . . now she is nice and fresh and I feel a lot better.)  Thank you nurse Mel!!  Caring for a newborn is tricky, but caring for a sick preemie in the NICU is impossible without the help of all those kind, experienced, wonderful nurses.

5. Life keeps going.

Valerie is potty trained now and sleeps in a big-girl bed.  My dad filled our garden beds and planted the lettuce and peas.  Kabir is busy at work.  Actually, life just keeps on going!  The desperation I felt during the first couple of weeks in the NICU has subsided.  I now have a new sense of normalcy.  For instance, my co-workers threw a baby shower for Evie, and it felt so good to have a "normal" baby day like that!  I have also been nesting (see nursery pics below), which feels good and normal too.

Reading nook in Evie's nursery.

Evie's crib and Cirque du Soleil mobile.